Assume Good Intentions

I have a new go to thought, "They did the best they could."

I got this idea from Brene Brown. In her book, Daring Greatly, she proposed the idea that it is a rare exception to find someone on purpose not acting in the best way they know how. Thus it is safe to assume, everyone is doing the best they can.

It is amazing how much quicker forgiveness and compassion comes when I think this thought about others.

Today, I realized I can show myself the same benefit of the doubt. What if, when I started to analyze past mistakes and be critical, I told myself: "You did the best you could."

I tried it today and it felt good. It helped me keep the past in the past so I can focus on creating my future.

Your Brain is like a Game of Jeopardy

I believe your brain knows how to solve your problems. Like a game of Jeopardy, the information is there but you have to come up with the questions before you can "see" it.

Some examples of questions I use to keep my mind busy:

1. What can I do to feel great today?
2. What new thing can I do today?
3. What thoughts do I need to think to get the weight loss results I want?
4. What if all the problems in my life have easy solutions?

Another piece of advice: 

Don't let a question linger. Don't ever ask yourself a question without answering it. (For the reason why, click here.) Even if the question might not be productive; answer it in a positive way.

For example, "Why can't I turn down sweets?" is not a productive question. It suggests a victim mentality. Like those sweets are forcing themselves into your mouth. 

Always take time to answer the questions your brain brings up with useful thoughts. 

Q. Why can't I turn down sweets?

Possible useful answers:

• My environment isn't set up well so that it is easy for me to make healthy food choices

• I am buffering negative emotions in my life with sugar

• I am not committed to my health journey

• My eating a sweet treat has just become a habit

I hope you all will start by asking yourselves this question today:

"What can I do to be kind to myself today?" (You are worth it.)

Your Brain will Answer

Ask your mind a question and it will answer. It can't help itself. It is wired to solve problems.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning with my sense of self feeling battered and bruised. It's like my subconscious mind takes advantage of my being asleep to run wild with critical thoughts.

That is how I felt this morning.

I realized that one of the questions on my mind yesterday was not productive. I had been asking myself, "Why am I not promotable at my current job?

As I slept, my mind came up with several ideas that played into two core fears: "I am not enough" and "I won't ever be enough".

All of the answers my brain came up with put me into a Victim Mentality. I woke up feeling like I am not good enough due to circumstances outside my control and I will never be good enough.

I wouldn't let my brain stay on such a negative thought train, if I was awake. I realized I need to change my question so that I get more useful answers.

My question now is, "What can I do to be more promotable at my job?"

Now that is a question that gives me back my power and that has already provided me with some actionable answers.

What kind of questions are you asking yourself?  Word those questions carefully because your brain will answer.