"How did you get so skinny?"

I find myself getting asked this question regularly.  It is hard for me to answer because the "what I did" is so connected to the "what I didn't do".

It is also a longer answer than I think most people want to hear.  I believe most would like to know in one or two sentences what kind of "magic" pill I found to get to a smaller size. Since there is nothing magic about how I lost weight I am hesitant to give any answer.

What I didn't do (in no particular order):

1. Hate myself thin.
2. Wear clothes that didn't fit me as some kind of motivation
3. Go on a diet
4. Put a lot of emphasis on the number on the scale
5. Tell myself it would be impossible.
6. Try to make too many changes at once. My first change was to cut flour and sugar out of my diet.  Once I saw I could do it for a few days I committed to six weeks of abstinence. I continued to eat fruit but 100% cut all sugar (even honey) and foods that included flour from my diet. I found doing both at the same time made it so I wasn't craving either a strongly. My second change was to cut out all snacking. 
7. Allow myself small "fails" or a continuous flow of small cheats to my eating plan that have derailed me in the past.
8. Pick a goal weight too soon.
9. Hard core exercise
10. Keep a food journal.  (It just felt too much like a diet.)

What I did do:

1. Loved and practiced gratitude for my body. 
2. Bought new clothes each time I "shrank" a size - I thought of it like renting a wardrobe from the DI and returning it when I didn't need it anymore.
3. Made what I plan to be permanent changes to how I eat.
4. Used the number on the scale as information on how my eating plan was working and NOT a reflection of my value
5. I allowed myself to imagine that it was possible.
6. I set small achievable goals that I expanded once I built my confidence.
7. I considered my eating plan a commitment to myself and I was very diligent in following the plan I had designed.
8. Eating a healthier diet and feeling better were my first goals.
9. I moved to relieve stress and feel good. 
10. Lots and lots of thought work. I had to learn how to deal with negative emotions so that I no longer used food as a buffer to feel better.
11. Learned all I could about eating healthy, specifically how to eat in a way so that my body would burn fat.
12. Learned about ketosis and how to expand how long my body spent in a fat burning state.
13. After a few months I began to limit the time during the day in which I eat.  Currently I eat two meals between the hours of 11am and 6pm.
14. Prioritize sleep. If I have a few days where I get less than 7 hours of sleep, I can expect the scale to be up no matter what I have eaten.

My current food protocol (what I eat):
Whole foods
Protein and healthy fat at every meal

The carbs in my diet come from vegetables and a bit of fruit

I restrict the flour and sugar I eat to special occasions
I limit the starchy vegetables I eat

Weight loss and the finish line

I have lost a significant amount of weight several times in my life. I know how to lose weight. The thing that plagued me was the maintenance.

I had good reasons for keeping the weight off. I know how long and hard loosing weight can be. But time after time the weight would creep back on until I  was at square one again and again.

One thing I knew as I began my health journey this time was that this couldn't be a diet and my goal couldn't be a number on the scale. Reaching a goal weight signals the end of needing the diet. No structured diet meant the weight would find its way back on my body.

My goal in 2018 has been to establish good healthy eating habits. I purposefully avoided habits that felt like a diet like meticulously tracking my food. Weight loss has been a nice side effect of eating better but wasn't my main goal.

Healthy habits like eating nutrient rich foods that nourish my body is what I hope will keep me at a healthy weight forever.

Assume Good Intentions

I have a new go to thought, "They did the best they could."

I got this idea from Brene Brown. In her book, Daring Greatly, she proposed the idea that it is a rare exception to find someone on purpose not acting in the best way they know how. Thus it is safe to assume, everyone is doing the best they can.

It is amazing how much quicker forgiveness and compassion comes when I think this thought about others.

Today, I realized I can show myself the same benefit of the doubt. What if, when I started to analyze past mistakes and be critical, I told myself: "You did the best you could."

I tried it today and it felt good. It helped me keep the past in the past so I can focus on creating my future.

Your Brain is like a Game of Jeopardy

I believe your brain knows how to solve your problems. Like a game of Jeopardy, the information is there but you have to come up with the questions before you can "see" it.

Some examples of questions I use to keep my mind busy:

1. What can I do to feel great today?
2. What new thing can I do today?
3. What thoughts do I need to think to get the weight loss results I want?
4. What if all the problems in my life have easy solutions?

Another piece of advice: 

Don't let a question linger. Don't ever ask yourself a question without answering it. (For the reason why, click here.) Even if the question might not be productive; answer it in a positive way.

For example, "Why can't I turn down sweets?" is not a productive question. It suggests a victim mentality. Like those sweets are forcing themselves into your mouth. 

Always take time to answer the questions your brain brings up with useful thoughts. 

Q. Why can't I turn down sweets?

Possible useful answers:

• My environment isn't set up well so that it is easy for me to make healthy food choices

• I am buffering negative emotions in my life with sugar

• I am not committed to my health journey

• My eating a sweet treat has just become a habit

I hope you all will start by asking yourselves this question today:

"What can I do to be kind to myself today?" (You are worth it.)

Your Brain will Answer

Ask your mind a question and it will answer. It can't help itself. It is wired to solve problems.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning with my sense of self feeling battered and bruised. It's like my subconscious mind takes advantage of my being asleep to run wild with critical thoughts.

That is how I felt this morning.

I realized that one of the questions on my mind yesterday was not productive. I had been asking myself, "Why am I not promotable at my current job?

As I slept, my mind came up with several ideas that played into two core fears: "I am not enough" and "I won't ever be enough".

All of the answers my brain came up with put me into a Victim Mentality. I woke up feeling like I am not good enough due to circumstances outside my control and I will never be good enough.

I wouldn't let my brain stay on such a negative thought train, if I was awake. I realized I need to change my question so that I get more useful answers.

My question now is, "What can I do to be more promotable at my job?"

Now that is a question that gives me back my power and that has already provided me with some actionable answers.

What kind of questions are you asking yourself?  Word those questions carefully because your brain will answer.

Eating from the Fridge vs. the Pantry

The Fridge is a symbol for eating foods that are readily available and will give your body a quick blast of energy. These are generally processed foods and sugar. They raise your blood sugar fast and also raise the amount of insulin your body releases to turn that energy into fat.

The Pantry is a symbol for foods that might take a bit of preparation. They are generally whole foods that take extra energy for your body to turn into energy. Insulin is still released but not in as big a quantity. The Pantry can also refer to fat stores on your body. I like to remind my body when it is hungry to "dine-in".

The Myth of Eating when you are Hungry

I always liked the dieting strategy of not letting yourself get hungry. The theory being that if you fill up on "good" foods, you won't eat the "bad" ones.  Some programs suggest you eat every three or four hours. I loved to eat, so eating more often sounded great to me.

After years of this, I didn't really know what it felt like to be hungry. I went to an Intuitive Eating nutritionist for some help and she wanted me to rate my hunger before I ate and only ate until I was mostly full. The problem for me was I was so out of touch with my body's hunger cues I had a hard time rating myself. I could eat a good amount of food and a few hours later feel like I was starving again.  The other issue was that I could eat right before I left work but when I walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, my body would signal that I was hungry again. I noticed that my hunger often increased when I was around a food I liked.

I have now learned my body would release the hormone Ghrelin (a hormone that gives you an intense desire to eat) when I had trained it to eat. Like when I would walk in the door from work. 

Cutting processed foods and sugar out of my diet were very helpful controlling Ghrelin because those foods are so addictive.

I decided that I was done eating every few hours. I wanted to know what it was like to get hungry. I cut back to eating three meals a day. No snacking. No bites here and there. It was simple and helped me control the cravings as they came up. I ate until I was satisfied and sometimes full at each meal but I let myself get hungry before my next meal.